I saw a shirt on Zazzle that I love.  It reads “90% paleo.” I think it’s perfect for most of us.  MOST of us, that is.

A question that I hear quite often from people.  “Chuck, I’m pretty good for most of the week.  I cheat a little on the weekends, but I think I’m about 90% paleo.  Is that good enough?  What about you and your family?  Are you kids paleo all the way?  Do you have to cook separate meals?  What do you snack on?  Don’t you ever want to stuff your face with Dave’s Killer Bread or M&M’s?”  Are you a food nazi to your kids?

“NO MORE DORITOS FOR YOU!”

First off, life is too short to be parenting, unilateral, totalitarian food nazi. Who do I look like, Dick Cheney?  I like salty/crunchy things and I love chocolate.  I mean, you show me someone who says they’re 100% paleo all the time and you’ll see they’re lying because their lips are moving and their heart is beating.  We live in 2012, people!  Starbucks is amazingly convenient as are most “food” products, so yes, I cheat…when I’ve earned it!

Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby.

This is probably what our kids look like under their skin.

Second, we try to cook MOSTLY paleo (and when I say we, I really mean Shelly.  I LOVE to cook, but I just don’t have the time anymore).  Therefore, our kids eat MOSTLY paleo too.  I make an effort to govern the amount of grains, sugars, saturated fats and boxed food they eat and I’ll tell you, I can really see a difference.  My kids are respectful rockstars with good heads on their shoulders and they’re in great shape to boot.  Is that in part to how we’ve been feeding them since they were in the womb?  I would like to think so (thank you Udo’s oil for great kids.  Shelly took it throughout her pregnancies).

Thirdly turdly, I eat all the time.  Hell, my family eats all the time.  Every week I consider starting a part-time job bagging groceries at WinCo just to subsidize my familie’s grocery budget.  Do I eat 3 square meals a day?  Probably trapezoidal – perdy close.  Do I have snacks?  All the time.  As most of you know, I’m always hungry so you’ll see me with something in my mouth at most any hour of the day.

“But Chuck, you’re not forced to be a job where you’re seated all day and I just don’t burn as many calories as you.  There’s no way I can eat like you because I’m not as active and I’ll fatten up like a Christmas turkey!”  I dare you to try.  Stay on a mostly paleo diet, workout at CrossFit Hillsboro and I dare you to fatten up.  It’s not going to happen, TRUST ME.  It will likely be physiologically impossible for you to fatten up on our program.  Now, keep eating and DON’T WORKOUT with us? Then we gotsa-problema.

What To Snack On?

This has to be one of the questions we hear the most.  Snacks can be confusing because some people who start paleo are under the impression that ALL fruits are bad, and that’s just not the case.  One of the things that paleo tries to accomplish is reducing blood glucose levels and inhibiting the pancreas from dumping insulin, a fat storage hormone, which then signals cortisol, a stress hormose, to pretty much create a war-zone inside of the body while you’re trying to sleep.   Want a better sleep?  Snack more often on foods that will NOT spike your insulin levels.

10 Fast and Convenient, Paleo Snacks

 

1)   Beef/chicken, berries & nuts

2)    Apples with almond, cashew or sunbutter (find at Trader Joes)

3)   Pre-packaged trailmix WITHOUT peanuts & chocolates (difficult, I know, but Trader Joes has a good selection)

4)   Apple sauce mixed with a scoop of all-natural, whey protein, almond butter & ground flax seed

5)   Larabar diped in almond butter

6)   Hard boiled eggs with avocado

7)  Tuna with carrots and celery

8)   Hamburger with cinnamon, dried/jarred tomatoes from Costco, and mushrooms and avocado

9)   Bagged veggies and all-natural deli-meat

10) Celery with almond butter and a side of grilled, ready-to-eat chicken breast from Trader Joes

Those are 10 different, fast and easy, PALEO options for you to snack on. It shouldn’t take that much time to put together and you’ll be able to find everything you’ll need at Costco and/or Trader Joes.

Eat well and play hard!

Chuck MaFrickin’ Gonzales

I’ve earned it!!!!!

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